


The One That Started It All

by Graceful_Storyteller



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfic, Characters Writing Fanfic, Crack, Darcy invents frostiron, Fanfiction, I REGRET NOTHING, M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 07:52:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy knows there are certain risks involved in writing RPF fanfics (especially when the two people you're slashing are an unstable Norse god and a guy with weapons of mass destruction in his pinkie), but what they don't know can't hurt her. Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One That Started It All

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [Ta, od której wszystko się zaczęło](https://archiveofourown.org/works/880828) by [LoboBathory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoboBathory/pseuds/LoboBathory)



> Inspired by a prompt I vaguely remember seeing on Tumblr.

It had all started when Jane (and by extension Darcy) was invited to work with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner to help save the world from an alien invasion. Actually, that’s a lie; it really started when Darcy was thirteen and discovered fanfiction. At thirteen Darcy was a lonely little geek who had just gotten her period and discovered her hormones. She’d been Googleing Draco Malfoy when she stumbled upon a Draco/Hermione fic. Intrigued, she’d begun to read, and by the end of the 50,000 word fanfiction she had been convinced that Draco and Hermione were secretly and irreversibly in love. She’d subsequently scoured the internet for more stories of a similar nature and discovered a wealth of other likeminded people who also believed in the eternal love of her first ship. From that point on there was no turning back.

Over the next few years she’d learnt to navigate the often treacherous realm of fanfiction. She learnt what slash and femslash were and even acquired a few OTPs that included them. She discovered what it meant to get Feels, and to be wary when someone warned that their PWP was disturbing even to them. She left old fandoms behind and followed new ones only to discover that she would receive just as much heartbreak here as she had in her previous fandom. She stumbled upon flame wars and pairing wars and sobbed uncontrollably when her polite comment was rewarded with vulgar vitriol. She even wrote a few fics and was overjoyed when people began to follow her and beg for updates. She never really got into the writing side though because she always thought she was too young and inexperienced and could never come close to writing at the level of her favourite writers. She was still a horny teenage geek girl though, and sometimes she just couldn’t resist jotting down some shameless smut regarding her favourite pairing. She had a bad habit of falling in love with all the unpopular ships who always got pushed aside by The Big Three, or Two, or Four, or however many ships there were that just seemed to dominate the entirety of the fandom. She also fell for the ships that would never be cannon because they were just too awesome and the plot would be thrown out the window in favour of all the hot gay sex that would happen...

Anyway. Eventually Darcy left her horny teenage years and entered her sexually frustrated twenties. She got a job working with Jane doing boring science stuff that somehow turned into exciting science stuff with abundant male eye-candy. Sure, Darcy was consigned to being the girl who went for donuts and kept the coffee flowing, but that didn’t take away from the fact that she was contributing to the effort to save the world. Plus, she was occasionally able to make a comment about the obvious flaw in the brilliant scientists’ plan. At that point everyone would stare at her like she had grown an extra head. Then Tony Stark would grin and offer her a blueberry.

In the end, due to the combined efforts of the military, SHIELD, the Avengers, a number of other misfit heroes, scientists and support staff (and one barely reformed god of mischief) Earth had been saved and Thanos had been thoroughly thrashed. Although glad that she wasn’t going to be vaporised by a mad titan, Darcy had been disappointed that it was over. She’d enjoyed being part of the team, even if it was only in an auxiliary role, and hadn’t wanted the experience to end. So, imagine her shock and delight when Tony Stark had offered her a permanent position as SHIELD’s donut girl.

Of course, it wasn’t his place to make such an offer (as Director Fury was quick to point out to both of them). Tony had just shrugged off the reprimand and asked if Darcy wanted to take a vacation in his Malibu beach house with him. Darcy had eagerly accepted the invitation, and a few hours later she had been on Tony’s private plane bound for California.

It was an awesome vacation that ended up lasting just under a month. Half of it was spent with a massive hangover and cursing Tony for not being equally crippled by all the late-night partying. Tony was horribly smug about his recovery time and Darcy hated him for it. She also hated all the people who insisted on disturbing her when she was hung-over. Pepper Potts was at the top of the list along with Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes and the not-dead Agent Coulson. The other Avengers also dropped in at random, but they were often there to party too instead of try to con Tony into working. The most surprising guest at the recently rebuilt beach house was Loki. He occasionally would appear for no other reason than to taunt Tony or engage in a snark fight with him. Those were incredibly amusing to watch until she actually laughed and somehow got dragged into the fights – then they were fun to participate in. Except when the discussion descended into magic/science/technology and Darcy became utterly lost. At that point she would return to watching the attractive men verbally spar in a way that was totally foreplay, even if they didn’t realise it.

Ultimately it was Loki’s visits that were the most to blame for the plot bunny that slowly began to eat away at Darcy’s brain. When Darcy and Tony’s shared vacation eventually ended and Darcy returned to the stress of working for Jane and her ridiculously handsome Norse god – that was when she found she could no longer hold back her creative juices. It was true that if she was ever found out she would likely be murdered horribly in her sleep, but the alternative was no more attractive. The plot bunny had fucked her imagination and multiplied so that there were so many of the little bastards she had no brain capacity left to think. She had to put fingers to keyboard and _fast_.        

After Darcy had written her first ever RPF PWP she went to the internet to decide what category she should place her fic in. She discovered she was not the first to write about an Avenger and that there was a tentative community devoted to Avenger slash fics. Most of them seemed to be about Captain America getting deflowered by the infamous billionaire playboy who must have slept with all those women to suppress his deep homosexual urges. The summaries made Darcy laugh and she bookmarked a few to read later. She then posted her fic and dubbed the pairing Frostiron (because all good pairings need a kickass nickname). Then she logged off and got to work on murdering another one of the rabid plot bunnies that was still raping her mind.  

Hours later Darcy’s email was flooded with reviews. People were drooling over her porn and wondering why they had never thought of the pairing themselves. When Darcy went to post her next fic a week later there were ten new Frostiron fics waiting for her to read and squee over. When she posted her third fic that number had tripled and it took all of her will-power not to fall to the floor cackling, as Thor was in the next room eating Poptarts.

After a number of comments on her account begging for her to write a long, serious fic (that was still punctuated with plenty of flirting foreplay and smut) she began formulating a plot. Within a week she had released a tentative first chapter and was waiting for a response from her devoted followers when she was apprehended by Agent Coulson. She was placed in an interrogation room and forced to listen to Coulson read aloud the first few paragraphs of her porn-tastic first frostiron fanfiction. The agent had gripped her with his soul-piercing gaze and informed her that SHIELD had been monitoring the internet for any leaked information about the Avengers, and that recently agents had found certain content that could only have come from someone who personally knew the Avengers. They’d traced the account that had posted the material back to her; did she deny that she had written and posted the material? Darcy had skipped admitting her guilt and gone straight to begging not to be arrested – she was far too pretty and vulnerable without her taser for super-spy prison. Coulson had frowned and told her that this was America and she was entitled to her right of free speech. He’d then handed her a memory stick containing the approved version of her fics and a list of details she was not allowed to share with the public. He’d said if she ever had any queries about whether her stories were a threat to national security she should send them to Coulson to beta. With that Coulson had smiled and wished her good luck in her creative endeavours before shepherding her out of the interrogation room. Eventually Darcy had picked her jaw up off the floor and returned to Jane’s lab. She’d been extremely glad that she had yet to post that fic about Coulson masturbating to Captain America working out in the gym, and was really hoping that nobody had snooped around her WIP file.

That was when Darcy’s day went from weird to down-right incredible. She’d been minding her own business in the ladies’ room when Natasha had appeared behind her and whispered her screen name in Darcy’s ear. Darcy had squeaked and spun round, spraying Natasha with water. She’d then backed up into the sink and asked the Black Widow what she wanted. Natasha had smirked and replied that she just wanted to thank her for giving Clint nightmares. Then she’d left, throwing a, “I hope you like your gift,” over her shoulder as she exited. Darcy had spent the rest of the day expecting to be poisoned (or stabbed, or electrocuted) until she returned home and turned on her computer. That was when she saw the art that had been gifted to her – an illustration of one of her fics that was just this side of nsfw. Darcy had cried in relief in-between marvelling at how talented an artist Natasha was and laughing her ass off. She’d left a comment praising the art and wondered what would happen the next time she encountered Natasha. (Natasha had smiled and said she was glad Darcy liked it. Clint had glared and told her she was the devil. Coulson had handed her the corrections to her latest story draft and given her links to period costumes for inspiration)  

Somehow word of her fics reached the SHIELD gossip-mill, and before long it seemed like every agent had read her work. Most of them chose not to pass comment, but some couldn’t resist quietly congratulating her on her work or sending her knowing smirks. Darcy chose to take it in her stride and continued to write. None of them seemed inclined to tell any of the parties involved (or their big brothers) what she was doing so she was safe from divine (and human) retribution. Her secret was contained within the strong walls of SHIELD HQ, and she’d hoped that it would remain that way forever.

That was when Tony Stark happened upon her having a violent disagreement with her laptop and offered to fix it. It wasn’t until he’d walked away with the device that she’d realised she’d made a grave error. She’d run to Coulson and asked if he could rescue the laptop (and if not taser Tony until he forgot the whole incident). Coulson had gone to see what he could do, but unfortunately it had taken the genius Tony Stark less than ten minutes to cure her laptop and to start snooping through her files. He’d found the Coulson/Cap porn she’d been incapable of deleting, and laughed. He’d read the frostiron porn with morbid curiosity that slowly turned to horror.

“What the fuck is this? Why is there a story about Loki and me fucking on her computer? Agent, why was I not informed that I’ve been fucking Loki since Christmas? HOW HAVE I BEEN HAVING STEAMING GAY SEX WITH LOKI WITHOUT REALIZING IT!?!”

Coulson had eventually calmed Tony down. He’d explained the concept of Real Person Fandoms. He’d explained that these were just the imaginings of a horny young woman and her acolytes. He’d informed Tony that, no, he could not cause Darcy to be involved in a tactical accident, and that he should be flattered she’d chosen him as the subject of her wet dreams.   

Apparently appealing to Tony Stark’s ego was a good strategy because when next he and Darcy met the first thing he asked her was, “So, what sexcapades will I be involved in next?”

Darcy had discussed her plans for her current fanfic and Tony had offered reasons why he felt he would act differently in certain situations to the way she had imagined. He also corrected her science and gave her a first peek at the new nicknames he planned to assign to their co-workers. Then he asked her why she shipped him with Loki.

“Well at first it was because you’re both smoking hot and the two of you flirt so much that I knew it was only a matter of time before you rolled into bed together.”

“We don’t flirt that much.”

Darcy had challenged him to review JARVIS’ footage of the two of them and _then_ tell her that they didn’t flirt that much. Tony had accepted the challenge and together they had watched over an hour’s worth of snarky banter and blatant flirting.

“We don’t flirt that much,” Tony had continued to deny.

“Liar,” Darcy accused. “Snarking is like foreplay for the two of you; seriously, I don’t understand why Loki hasn’t ripped off your clothes and had you over the bar yet.”

“Why am I always the catcher in your twisted fantasies?”

“That’s not my fault. I just channel the Porn Bunnies – I don’t control them.”

Tony had laughed and ordered her to write him as the pitcher in her next sex scene. Then he’d asked if she saw his relationship with Loki as being purely sexual.

“No way – the two of you were frenemies long before the sex started. You bonded over being the smartest, sassiest person in the room who needs attention like a fish needs water. Then there’re the parallels in your back stories: your unhappy childhoods, your growth into power, your fall from grace that allowed you to rise out of the ashes. The getting lost along the way. Redemption. Proving to yourselves and others that you alone control your destiny...You’re two halves of a whole. You give each other a less-destructive-than-normal project to work on. You keep each other interested and grounded – or as grounded as possible when you’re two chaotic hot messes who just want to put on a show. Does that answer your question?”

Tony had given her a false grin and said that it did. The next day Pepper Potts had contacted SHIELD to ask if they knew anything about the note Tony had left. All it said was: _Gone on a journey of self-discovery – don’t wait up._ Darcy had felt bad; her analysis of him _had_ been kinda personal and she should have guessed that it would freak him out. He had asked the question though, so it was at least partially his fault. Still, Darcy had texted him to say she was sorry and ask if donuts would make it better. She didn’t receive a response.

A month after he’d gone off the grid Tony Stark had practically _swaggered_ into SHIELD HQ with Loki in tow. Ignoring Fury’s death-glare, he’d headed straight for Darcy and given her a kiss that made her knees weak and her brain start producing all the happy-chemicals in its arsenal. Then he’d stepped back and let Loki regally kiss her knuckles. The trickster had smiled that smile that could charm the pants off a statue, and explained everything. Approximately a week ago he’d found Tony hiding in the middle of nowhere and, upon Thor’s request, attempted to drag him home. Tony had responded with distracting banter, and by showing him something very interesting on the internet. Apparently it was thanks to Darcy’s gift for storytelling and eloquence with words that the alien prince and Tony had finally found what was missing at the end of their battles of wit. It had taken a number of SHIELD agents clapping and cheering for Darcy to put 2 and 2 together to make 4. Laughing in delight, she’d risked giving Loki a hug. When he’d returned the embrace it was exactly as she’d imagined. She’d turned her head until she spied Tony and said, “I hate you, you lucky bastard.”

Both Tony and Loki had laughed. Then Tony had moved in for a group hug, and suddenly there were two incredibly hot guys making out above her. Darcy hadn’t known whether to cry, laugh or smash something when Fury ordered them to break it up and she was no longer being crushed between two sex gods.

After that day things were never the same. Stumbling upon Tony and Loki making out in unusual places became the new normal. Darcy’s fanfics were referenced in serious news articles and her review count shot through the roof when the two of them were caught practically dry-humping after a battle. Natasha dragged Clint kicking and screaming into the fandom, and although he still called Darcy _Satan_ he did start subscribing to any fics tagged _BAMF Hawkeye_.  Tony followed his lead: he avidly followed whatever was written about him and his relationships – real and imaginary. Coulson started writing his own fics and made Darcy swear never to tell a soul under pain of death by taser. They were all about Captain America (who everyone agreed should remain oblivious to the realm of fandom to protect his mental health). Bruce and Jane avoided fandom like the plague and were eternally grateful to Fury when he banned all discussion, drawing, reading, and writing of it in the workplace. (They were also safe at Stark Industries where Pepper had implemented a similar no-nonsense policy). Loki fabricated elaborate tales about his youth that Darcy didn’t believe a word of until Thor, reading over her shoulder, growled that Loki had promised he would never repeat what happened on that particular adventure. That was how Darcy inadvertently helped start a fic war between Thor and Loki that eventually escalated into them brawling on Tony’s private beach. The billionaire had bitched extensively about the damage, but had avidly watched the battle whilst devouring popcorn alongside Darcy.

The fight had ended in a draw with both combatants swearing to never again engage in fanfiction.

(Naturally Loki lied and was writing Hulk/fem!Thor porn by the end of the week)


End file.
